mushygrey24

You left me hanging in the midst of this misery

Left me with this query that keeps runnin' in my head

I couldn't move, every glimpse of you makes me freeze and later I'll notice that I'm melting with that glare.

I wish I could end this pain, I wish I could mend my heart; with the stitches that no one could ever detect that I was once broken.

How could you be so unkind? How could you walk with that smile on your face knowing that I could see that?

Is it too impossible for you to be a man and face me with the truth? Hey, I'm alive, my heart is beating, remember that. You should have known by the time you said hello, I gave my heart without a doubt. I asked you, I even begged you to be careful with my heart. But it seems like I'm just a toy. Play me. Break me. Leave me. That's what I am to you.

I'm tortured by the way you are treating me.

I'm tortured by this set-up, I want to break free but something pulls me back.

I'm tortured by the way you love me. You told me you love me, then It's like your actions don't come with your words.

I'm tortured by the way you look at me.

I'm tortured. I'm broken.

I wish I could fly from this hell-like ruins. I'm a fallen angel. I kept on falling, falling in love with you...

Hear me sing this melancholic melody. I'm waiting for you to notice that I'm singing while tears fall from my eyes.

mushygrey24

     I used to reminisce about how we met, like know each other personally. I remembered those little efforts he had done to make me feel so important, like I'm the luckiest girl in this universe. Duh, hyperbole! But to sum up all those efforts, those couldn't match the love I'm giving him right now. I'm not asking in return but it hurts to know that someone's not paying attention. It's like I'm making my way to him and yet the door is closed for me.

mushygrey24

     I'm having this dilemma to leave or not to. I guess things wont be easy if things would actually go on a regular basis. Like everyday you have to deal with this crap, like everyday all you have to do is to wait for that someone- his final verdict about us, like everyday you have to deal with your heart because as days pass by you are falling in love with him more and more. It's not easy to love someone who you actually don't know if he has a mutual feeling towards you. I'm a free spirit floating in the air. He couldn't contain me because I'm not sure about his plans. I'm left hanging. Bruised internally. I wish I could find something, a cure to this stupidity that has been going on for quite some time.

     If I'll be gone (don't think about me killing myself.) Would you look for me and tell me that you need me? Would you tell me to stay? just stay and make this last forever?

mushygrey24

     I've been waiting for those words to come out from your lips. I imagine myself while you saying that. I imagine that our bodies are drawing near to each other, while you wiping my tears dry from my cheeks. You, holding my chin, making an effort to have our lips met. Then from my lips you are moving your lips up to my eyes, telling me these words "I'll wipe your tears away."

     I guess I have to snap out from that illusion... <sigh>

mushygrey24

     Bruised heart. Cigarette smoking. Overflowing booze. Sleepless nights. 10 days straight for work. Never ending walk along Cubao going to the FX terminal. Paranoia. Say What? Clinical Depression. Am I? Geez, lately I've been contemplating the thoughts from the past, present going to the future. I have been thinking a lot lately.. A LOT!

     When will I wake up from this enticing dream? Can please someone buy me an alarm clock or whatever?